To Susanne and Petter on their wedding day 2012-09-15
A wedding is perhaps one of the most beautiful aspects of our
culture – the celebration of love in one of its finest forms.. This
is true about weddings where¨ever they are, but to me it is
especially true about a Swedish wedding, and especially true about
this one.
I come from a country with slightly different wedding traditions -
It is also beautiful in its own way - but I don't think anything can
come up to the incredibly beautiful meaning in what such a Swedish
wedding as this one expresses.
In Canada, a wedding most often was the start signal to life as a
family - and this is wonderful and beautiful - but often one of the
major functions was simply to create social acceptance for living
together as a couple. Of course, as well, it most often expressed
commitment and the hope of love and fidelity - It is not my
intention to in any way diminish the beauty of the wedding culture I
grew up with - but somehow there is an entirely different magnitude
of meaning in a wedding like this one.
This wedding, after years of living together, is the product of a
proven love and affection for each other - love that has proven to
work!! It is the ultimate
expression of the absolute finest that life can give (and has
given). Two people in their very best years - two people who have
struggled for, reached toward, and fullfilled a major part of their
childhood dreams together - who have attained and surpassed many of
the goals they had from youth - established a wonderful family and
home - have overcome the inevitable dark and painful days that
all relationship inevitably sometimes contain - and then looked at each
other and said "We love each other and we're proud of it! Lets get
married! We'll invite our friends - . and together with them,
celebrate the wonderful things that we have found in each other.
Is there anything more beautiful? There are a few real highlights
in life– this is one of them for us all-
I think it's so wonderful to see your children having the privlage
of experiencing their parents' affection for each other celebrated
as it is today. A few hours ago , not far from here I saw one of the most
beautiful things I have seen in a long time. Two teenage girls in
their prettiest dresses, sitting side by side, by themselves on the front row
of a quaint little country church - attentively and happily
watching as their mom and dad expressed their love and commitment to
each other.
I was told by an old man a number of years ago, that the
greatest thing that a father can do for his children is to love
their mother. Your kids have a dad like this – so did I.
This summer it was 22 years ago since Mireille and I were
married. I remember that there were a number of promises in
connection with this and I signed some pappers – Sorry to say, I don't remember exactly
what they were. However I have made a number of promises since
then -- some of them only within my self, some of them shared
together. I would like to share one of them with you.
My dad passed away a few years ago, and one of my silent
promises to my wife and family, I made on a visit to see him
just previous to his passing. He was 91 years old - The last
months of his life, he wasn't able to live at home with mom
.. and this was very difficult for him to accept after living
together with her for over 60 years.
The last memory I have of him was just the evening before I was
to return to Sweden again after a 2 weeks' visit - Mom and I
lifted him into his bed after spending an afternoon visiting and
moving around the care home in his wheelchair - When mom leaned
over him to tell him we were going home he was so tired he could
hardly open his eyes - his hand got caught in the blankets
- and he could hardly lift his head off the pillow -- all
he could manage was to pucker his lips for a goodnight kiss. I
can still hear the muffled smack and see moms fingers as she squeezed his
thumb. This
was what
was most important for him with the very last strength he had
that day
When I saw this, I thought about my family and my wife back in
Sweden and I made a little promise – here is a little
clip from this song by Ronan Keating puts it better than I can--
http://www.anotherstep.net/imadeapromisetomyself.mp3
(Can take a few minutes to load)
Link to
other writings |